her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
