i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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