First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
oh god was she eating orange peels again
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
