Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
