Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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