dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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