New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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