a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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