How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
