I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize