I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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