Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
