Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
