your parents love me but you hate me
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
