as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
