You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
