I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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