Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
