somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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