I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
