Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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