its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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