You were right. It hurts to walk today.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
