Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
