somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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