i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
