I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
