just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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