Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ketchup is God's man juice
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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