Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
