I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize