If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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