Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
