I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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