So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize