We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
