I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
