she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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