I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
