I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
not ubering you a puppy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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