You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
