I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
