summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I lost the right to judge tonight
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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