There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
