I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
