wakey wakey hands off snakey
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
