garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
