Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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