I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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