Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
