I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
