I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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