You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
