Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize