how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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