her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
