can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
